Broken, Fractured, But Loved Nonetheless
by Zena Airale
Summary: Collab with styrofoam-molars on Tumblr. Lloyd can't help but hate himself after the final battle, but his father will always be there for him.


**Collab with styrofoam-molars on Tumblr**

* * *

"_I said that I was not to be disturbed!_" These were the words that came smoothly out of the newly appointed Sensei's mouth, harsh in meaning and tone but liquid from his tongue. He sat folded, knees pointed towards either side of the room while the burning essence of jasmine became less thick as the doors opened to reveal Lloyd.

"Father, it's me." Lloyd's voice was just as lulled and high a pitch as it had ever been- _soft_ and submissive as it had ever been. He sounded jarred by his father's command; how it was spoken.

It had only been so long since he had been an enemy, the rise and fall of his voice meaning mercy or death in most scenarios.

"Lloyd..." Garmadon's voice was barely above a whisper. He raised his voice and his tone became more casual, his own volume raising. "Y-yes, come in. I'm sorry. I didn't know it was you."

"I..."

Garmadon wasn't a dull tool- he was as sharp as a new blade and quick as a whip in the right hands. It was late, and he knew this. He picked up his own slack with his daily routine, and he never slept or came to rise late.

"Lloyd, it's terribly late. For the warrior you are, you need your sleep. One never knows what comes ahead."

"Yes, father... That's... Why I came."

His gray, stern brow became sullen. His body relaxed as he stood. He walked forward, his still-unfamiliar softness in his voice greeting the young ninja's ears.

"Something's troubling you." He said observantly.

_He still fills in the spaces for speech. That never changed..._

Lloyd wasn't irritated despite the thought. He couldn't say it himself.

"What's bothering you, son?" He asked, a hand on his shoulder. The fact his hand met his shoulder _alone_ bothered him.

Lloyd shivered, backing away, brushing his father's hand off of him.

Garmadon's head fell slightly, and so did his gaze. For a minute, his thoughts left him and a reminder filled the space where they were.

_He still doesn't trust me._

"I just... Can't sleep, that's it. I-I... Nevermind."

"Lloyd Ryuda Kamiare, don't hold things from me. I know what distress looks like."

"I-!" Rather angry, he looked flustered. It was the same look he bore when his mother said endearing things or laid kind hands on him when he least expected it. He sighed, his head turned, but his facial expression saying '_you're right, go on_'.

His brow fell heavily onto his aged eyes and so did the strictness of his voice. "Tell me what's keeping you from sleep, so I may fix it."

_So I may fix it._

That was strange to hear for the grown child.

He looked down, the stubbornness in his boyish face leaving him like the heat in a draft. "...I don't like why, or- or _how, _or _when_ I changed. In fact, I don't like that I changed at all!" He began pacing, his father's sympathetic eyes following him. "Look at me! I'm six feet and two inches, my shoulders can't fit in ANYTHING I wear, when I cry I look like a deranged- _thing!"_ The word "thing" left him like acid, and that acid struck and seared even Garmadon.

"I'm not a kid anymore! I'm not _me, _I'm"- he began to shake, his lungs alleviating air when it shouldn't, the shudder seeming to follow the same pattern in his hands. "I don't even feel like your son. I feel like... Someone else."

Garmadon was in silence, but not shock. He knew this was coming- he constantly thought about the practical _mutilation_ he'd done to save his teammates. Even when the Overlord was dormant in his mind, skewing his thoughts, he was still flooded with concern of how the young boy was doing in the body of a teenager.

"...I knew it had affected you in some way, but I didn't think it would be _this bad_..." His eyes seemed to be hypothetically pouring with pity, but they were hollow all at once. In a trail of events, this somehow, somewhere in the timeline of the boy's life- was somewhat his fault. In the heaviness of this reminder, he let a hand fall on his shoulder. A sad, short laugh left his lungs. "Perhaps you didn't know something before that you should now."

"What is it...?"

"To everyone who knew you as a boy, you'll always- _always _be a child. And to a father, in my eyes, you will _never _truly grow up."

His green eyes began to glow with hope as his father's forehead gently touched his. His eyes began to well with something else than hope. He began to gently sob, his chest heaving gently and his face spoiling to a frown.

"Lloyd!" Garmadon cried, pulling his broken child so close to his chest. "Lloyd, no, don't... _Don't cry_," Garmadon had truly never been one for comfort in the past, but he was determined to become Lloyd's foundation from this point forward. His voice became hushed to a spoken whisper. "_Please, son_..."

Lloyd was now bawling with his arms clutched around the old man's shoulders, tight and trying to find warmth where they could. His face was buried in his robe.

"_DAAAAAAAD! IT HUUUUUUUUUURTS!_"

"_Shhhhhhh... I know it does... But it's okay, little one... Just let it all out... You've held it in for too long now... I've got you... I won't leave you again, Lloyd Ryuda..._"

* * *

After about a half-hour of comfort and tea to soothe the poor boy's nerves, Garmadon had offered to let the chosen one sleep in his room alongside him. The golden elemental's eyes and cheeks were red and swollen from his crying and discontentment, and he had grown tired. Garmadon was feeling overprotective overall, so he wouldn't let the child sleep alone.

"Lloyd, I-I should be going now." He widened his eyes and got up from the couch.

"No! No, don't go. Please. I..." He stopped to see Lloyd's innocent and questioning eyes pin him. They always seemed to make him stop in his tracks. "I want you to stay. Sleep here. It...would make us both feel better." He said, now calmer.

Lloyd, out of the frown that had been locked on his face all day, was now smiling gingerly and with relief. "Thanks, dad."

For the first time in a long time, the Sensei took his hand. It felt so much bigger than before, and Garmadon's hand felt so much older... It was a shock for both of them. It went from shock to a warm welcome, and they slowly walked together throughout the monastery.

Minutes later, they found their way to a dim room that was only alight with the lights speckling New Ninjago City in the distance. It was beautiful... And at least less condescending than the city-savior's father's meditation chamber. Lloyd personally was grateful for this. Ever since he thought he was destined to fight Garmadon, there wasn't a night where he slept easily. There was a scentless waft in the air of relief—of safety. They both hadn't felt this in years. Lloyd, for a minute, like the oversized child he was, scrambled agilely to the cushioned window that captured the landscape of the distant city, and watched with eyes filled with wonder. For a minute, they seemed less green and more brown; like long ago. They seemed hazel before he used his powers every day, and now that he wasn't on edge, perhaps that was what lowered their hue.

Garmadon admired this. He missed this, more than his son could ever know. For a minute or two, he couldn't look away. If it wasn't for Garmadon's new elite taste of hospitality, he would have completely relaxed and rested next to him, gazing out of the window for FSM knows how long beside him.

_Oh, screw this._ He shoved that thought aside, joining his child by the window, pulling him close so Lloyd could lean against him.

Lloyd, in response, couldn't resist. He melted into his touch and let a soundless sigh leave his heavy lungs and pitted throat. He felt his father's chest rise and fall, his breathing slow and calm- and just barely, thanks to Lloyd's creature-esque hearing, he could hear the old man's heartbeat.

_Thump. 0.7 seconds. Thump. 0.8 seconds. Thump. 1 second._

The fact his heart rate slowed at the action of holding him warmed Lloyd's own heart in a wonderful way. Lloyd's hair brushed against his cheek as he looked up- the childlike wonder and comfort his eyes hit Garmadon's, and his brow fell soft. "Dad, I missed you..." he spoke, his voice barely above a whisper. "_Please don't leave me..._"

His father wrapped an arm around him and let his lips touch the crown of his head. "I won't. Not tonight, not soon, not ever... Never again." He sadly but happily laughed. He felt that tonight was a happy ending to the disaster-story of his life. "_I've missed you too, little one..._"

Lloyd's eyes watered at the tender nickname, and he began to cry again. Hearing the soft shudders and small whimpers of his son, he took his legs and let them rest over his lap and held his chest to his. "You're safe, son. You will be as long as you're with me." He somehow found the humor in him to think of something after the said comfort. "...If you can handle me at my worst, you'll be alive at our best." He chuckled as his chin rested on top of Lloyd's head. One hand reached up, caressing the energy elemental's hair in light, rhythmic strokes. Lloyd, having a dragon half, began to almost softly purr at this- his head leaning into the hand of his father. He felt like a boy again, finally... Something he hadn't imagined being again.

"_My precious golden dragon..._" Garmadon whispered, his voice barely a breath. "_It's gonna be okay... I'm right here... Just hold on..._"

Lloyd perked at the nickname, and his tears halted to a slow stop. He just rested there, feeling content and rather comfortable as his father's hand played with his thick, soft golden hair.

"_I'm glad you're finally here..._" Lloyd sighed, curling closer to his paternal guardian. "_I don't want this moment to end._"

Garmadon agreed without reluctance, and he hummed in response. "Well, you have to sleep eventually. Sorry to break that." He laughed softly.

Lloyd nodded wordlessly, his eyes fluttering shut in a fully relaxed state.

A moment passed before Garmadon carried his son over to the bed, laying him gently on top of it, before settling down beside him. He smiled as he observed the golden warrior, wondering what he did to deserve such a wonderful child. He wrapped his arms around him and let a cheek rest on his head- after a while, Garmadon shut his weary eyes as well.

Softly and soundly, Lloyd drifted into a dream-like state.

It had been too long.

* * *

He tossed and turned after a while, his skin becoming clammy against Garmadon's- small whimpers being audible in the room. He was having a horrid dream... But of what?

As Garmadon woke, that was exactly what he asked himself before shaking him awake softly. "Lloyd? Lloyd, wake up! Are you alright? What's the matter?"

Lloyd shot up and kicked away from his father's side of the bed, panting with his eyes full of tears. "Dad...? Dad, are-" He was nearly yelling, his voice was so loud. It quieted down when he scrambled for the lights to see the sympathetic face of his war-torn father, purified and safe and sound with him. He sighed and curled over the side of the bed, his feet on the ground and his elbows on his knees. "I-it was a dream... Y-you were, it... It's not worth discussing."

This time, Garmadon agreed with his son and only sighed, sitting next to him as he rubbed his shoulder. "I know, I know... They get better." He said.

He smiled weakly and looked over. "That's good news." He looked up at the wall. "I hope they do."

Garmadon laid back down and eased his son onto his chest, closing his eyes and being lost in his own thoughts. Guilt, sympathy, gladness... He didn't know what to feel, but his sole comfort was the boy at his side, and he was glad to have him.

"_You're my whole world..._" he whispered out of the blue.

Lloyd smiled, and said one last thing before drifting off again for good that night. "I know."


End file.
